Oh, He's Under My Skin
by AngeDeMalFoi
Summary: Dumbledore does the unthinkable. Lol. He sends the students of Hogwarts to Muggle schools. Guess who gets stuck together? Wow, big surprise. Slash, eventually, once the prat gets over himself. HD
1. Intro

I didn't know it would be like this.

That's what he would have wanted me to say. For his sake, for his sanity, he would have wanted me to believe in a different outcome. But I didn't.

I knew it would be like this.

I knew he would die.

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It all started with me getting back to the dorm late.

"Draco! Draco, where the bloody hell have you been? You know I worry." Blaise Zabini glared at me with obvious annoyance, pushing his auburn hair out of his face.

"Blaise, I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself. I don't need you to know my every step," I stepped out of the doorway and around Blaise's body. "I mean, it's not like you really care."

Blaise's glare faded as he turned to look me in the face.

"Draco…" Blaise faltered, "You know I care…" Blaise stepped forward to close the gap between him and I

"Eh, Blaise…what the BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"

"Draco, I thought you knew." He stepped back and looked at me with a curious expression.

"Knew what? That you'd try to _molest_ me if I came back to the d-"

"No." I stopped shouting.

"Then what?"

"I THOUGHT YOU KNEW I KILLED POOPSIE!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

And then I stabbed him.

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Kidding

But seriously, it all started when Dumbledore decided to give us a little more experience. In what, we all speculated. More classes? More students? More…anything? No. Dumbledore decided to give us _worldly_ experience, whatever the bloody fuck that means. Well, actually, I know what it means. It means that we have to go to bloody Muggle school. What. The. Bloody Fucking. Hell. I mean, I know the old codger is fairly senile, but what could we possibly have learned there? Nothing but our personal limits with Golden-Boy-Can't-Fucking-Ever-Die-Potter.

Even though it pains me, this is what happened.

Well.

It doesn't pain me that much.

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Ange: I feel bad about killing Poopsie…

Poopsie: What the hell? Why'd you kill me! What'd I do to you?

Draco: Yea, what did widdle Poopsie-kins ever do to you:brandishes wand:

Ange: Shit.

Draco: What now, bitch?

Ange: You know I can kill you off right?

Draco: … :puts wand away:

Ange: That's a good slave. Now go put on those leather pants.

Draco: Yes, Master

Ange: It's good to be the boss.

Poopsie: Fucking authoress and her damn computer.


	2. Lemon Drops

"WHAT! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" Harry screamed at the wizened wizard sitting in front of him. Harry and Dumbledore were sitting in the latter's office in a meeting. Minerva McGonagal stood off to the side, watching the whole thing. (A/N: Spelling?)

"Now Harry, you now they can't roam around the muggle world on their own, much less live in it. Do try to think of others" Minerva nodded agreeingly.

Harry shook his shaggy black hair out of his face. "Isn't there anyone else he could live with? There are plenty of other Muggle-borns at Hogwarts, get one of them!"

Dumbledore sighed, Harry could be so naïve sometimes. "Harry, that's just the problem. You know young Draco is…less than fond of muggles and muggle borns. You're the only person that can stand up to him, so we figure you could knock him around a bit if he gets out of line." The older man's eyes twinkled, while Minerva's narrowed in a stern glare.

"Mr. Potter, you will not lay a finger on the Malfoy boy, is that understood?" Minerva sent a glare to Dumbledore.

"Yes, Professor." Harry sighed. What could be worse than a whole school year living in his small muggle house with Malfoy?

"Ah, yes, Potter. In order to keep Malfoy and yourself company, two others will be living with you." Minerva began. 'Yes! Ron and…but Hermione is muggle-born…it won't be her…' "Mr. Blaise Zabini," Harry groaned, "and Mr. Ronald Weasley."

"Thanks for small favors." Harry paused. "But Professor, how will we all fit in the house? It's a bit cramped as it is." The Dursleys home was fairly small, even with 3 bedrooms. It only had one bathroom and no extra rooms besides the dining and living ones. Plus, with Dudley in the house, space became extremely limited.

"That is but a simple task. House enlargement." Dumbledore stated the fact as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Maybe in the Wizarding world.

"Um…Won't the neighbors notice?" Harry asked, actually thinking that Dumbledore was losing it.

"Do you remember the car that Arthur borrowed from the ministry?" Harry nodded "It looked perfectly normal on the outside, but had a trunk nearly as large as the car itself," Again, Harry nodded, a little more impatiently this time, "We just use the same principles of that spell." Dumbledore smiled, pleased with himself. "Lemon drop?"

"Err, no." Harry wondered if anyone actually accepted the neon yellow candy besides Remus.

"Lovely, all the more for me." He popped one of the candies in his mouth and giggled. He then reached for a fistful more and crammed them all in his mouth. The giggling continued. Harry just stared. Dumbledore suddenly noticed the two other people in the room and stopped giggling. "Err, right. Harry, you are dismissed, Minerva, you may go." He let out a giggle and grinned.

Harry got up from his seat, but continued to stare at the old professor.

"Don't worry, Potter, the drops contain a cheering charm. That's why no one but Lupin ever takes them. It's a rather strong dose in each…as you can tell." She gestured to the snickering old man. "He's not crazy. Not yet, anyway." That didn't comfort Harry as it was intended. "See you in class, Potter." She walked away.

Harry's mind was suddenly brought back to the topic of the meeting. He groaned inwardly, how was he to get through that? He would have to wait until dinner to talk with the others about it. Dumbledore only told him ahead of everyone else because of his…'unique' arrangements.

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Next time: Dinner. Disaster. Diarrhea!

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Ange: I'm having fun with this! Draco! In those pants yet?

Draco: Yea. :turns around:

Ange: yay!

Poopsie: Who gets Diarrhea? I hope it's Draco

Draco: Why me? I stood up for you when she killed you!

Poopsie: Well, you're so full of shit… You need to let some of it out

Ange:laughs:

Draco: C'mere, Poopsie, I've got a treat for you:holds up bottle labeled 'Poison':

Poopsie: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ange: Review! Or Poopsie might die again! Or Draco might get diarrhea! Review!


End file.
